I turned 30 today and had the time to reflect on my three decades on this odd place we call Earth. It feels appropriate to capture some things I learned in my 20s and, in some sense, jot down some things I hope to carry with me into my 30s and preceding 40s. Relative to my peers, I’ve encountered tremendous loss and with it, new beginnings. I cannot enjoy the latter without the former. Some reflections on my 20s:

1. Don’t fall in love, fall in respect. I married my best friend, we happen to be of different religions and entirely different upbringings yet what pins our marriage is our respect for one another 
2. Never work for someone you don’t want to be 
3. It’s easier to do something 95% of the time than it is 30% of the time (e.g., workout daily) 
4. Read the classics (e.g., Iliad, Quran), it’s likely that new books repeat the classics over and over again 
5. You are never as important as you think you are, it’s likely if you pass today, the sun will still come up tomorrow 
6. You are not your job 
7. If you’re mad at someone or irritated, count to 5 in your head or wiggle your toes before you say anything 
8. It’s better to be nice rather than correct 
9. Grief is love 
10. If something gives you pleasure – outside of sports, hobbies, and fitness – never do it by yourself (eating croissants is far more enjoyable with the company) 
11. Turns out influencers have real jobs (and make more than me) 
12. Buy experiences, not material things 
13. It’s hard to be two different people, be one person and set boundaries 
14. Invest time into your relationships, not resources 
15. Don’t cycle alone with headphones in both ears 
16. It becomes harder to outwork a bad diet 
17. Call your parents, the older you get, the more you realize how much they sacrificed for you 
18. Take stock of what you have vs. what you don’t have 
19. Rarely are things urgent, you can put your phone away 
20. Look for commonalities, not differences 
21. Life is too short to be someone else, find your voice and surround yourself with people who value you 
22. Do hard things (physically), it’s crazy what you can accomplish and the self-confidence you gain 
23. Kids are mimetic, they copy you. 
24. It’s likely if you’re hungry at night, it’s because you’re dehydrated. Reach for water instead of Doordash 
25. If you’re upset with someone, it’s better to tell them in a 1:1 setting 
26. Read. Find something that interests you and never stop learning 
27. The world will always be in “upheaval” as E.O. Wilson put nicely in 2012, “The real problem of humanity is the following: We have Paleolithic emotions, medieval institutions, and godlike technology”, but in reality, there is no better time to be alive 
28. When you encounter someone who has lost someone and experiencing grief, ask them about the name of the person they lost and their favorite memory, and be equipped to deal with and share grief – we cannot escape this fact of living 
29. It’s hard to avoid company politics, its possible to be above it 
30. Hug your loved ones, and call them daily